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Candlelight Chaos

Dancing in life and partnered with the free will of destiny

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Created on 2011-05-26 17:57:02 (#895918), last updated 2013-10-10 (288 weeks ago)

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Birthdate:Mar 1
Location:Albuquerque, New Mexico, United States of America
Website:Facebook page
Hello and welcome to my little corner here at LJ. There are many sides of me, some are a given, some are not. To really know me would be to know this: A person is always changing, growing and hopefully becoming better with themselves and those around them. They are never completely who they are until the day they die. I don't search for things that aren't there, but I believe a lot of things are there and we just are not to the proper level of awareness within ourselves to see, feel, touch or know them. I don't try to get back what I have lost along my path. I don't try to impress, frankly I want to behave, speak and feel as honestly as I am able to. I don't have a selfish self esteem problem, but I am very confident in what I can do and what I will learn to do. I give my all to see a living being smile, a child be in a moment less in pain, sorrow or fear, an animal to feel safe and move about its world as I wish to move about my own world. I am shy but enjoy meeting people so it balances out, I don't rely on anyone else as much as I rely on myself. I know this is something at times I need to change to encourage my own safety, health and abilities. I don't hide my intellectuality, but I do hide my pain sometimes. Honestly I don't find a reason to be anyone else other then who I am. I'll put a smile on my face, because I don't like the attention that a true frown deserves. I can make you believe anything and everything but I choose to stay honest yet true. I wont give up on anyone including myself, but I will not spend more resources on someone else that they will not match themselves. I will not give in to temptation if it causes anyone or thing to hurt. I aim high and always reach my goal, although many may not see the accomplishment but myself and for me that is good enough. There's nothing that I want or will need that the universe can not offer me. I try not to take anything for granted. I walk a cherish the view, I breath and honor the right to make my spot a little better for those who might cross my path, I speak and for that I will remain true to myself and communicate as needed and not always wanted. I have a roof over my head, I have a place to sleep, Friends who care, and a life in front of me. I will never take back what I said because if I said it then I meant it. I keep my promises. I have your word; You'll always have my trust. I am always here. I'll give my every effort even when I feel as if I don't have it. I repeat I give my all but if refused; I will leave someone alone until they are ready and able to respect and cherish our friendship or love. I stand as a individual. I try to accept everything for what it is, not for what it appears to be. I question a lot to avoid assumptions. I'll let you believe that you have me tricked, if that's what makes you feel better. I'll give you the attention you want even when I know you don't deserve it. Its easy to take advantage ... or so you think. If you feel as if you have me under your finger tips ... the only person you’re playing is your self. Everything happens for a reason. Just look in the mirror before you try to judge another. The rules apply to me as well. I try not to judge for us all selection lessons and environments to explore, sometimes for the better or worse but it is again our free choice. For me I will be honest and a unconditional friend until lied to, cheated with, or used in a manner I do not see fitting for my own life. I do not like to "hear" about outsiders, and I sometimes fall to being a gossip myself if I spend too much time with that. I do not like being told who to trust or not to. I am a good judge of character and I will give everyone a second and third chance, but no promises if there will be a chance for a fourth. This is just me. Good and Bad. Here now just as I am.

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